A Dummy’s Guide To Tex-Mex Restaurants

I grew up in western Oklahoma, a region unknown for its cuisine. Even as a small child, I longed for spicy food, but the only condiment in my family’s kitchen cabinet was Worcestershire sauce.

When I was a little older, I discovered Tex-Mex food. My family began dining at the El Chico restaurant in downtown Oklahoma City. 

I loved that restaurant! I was astounded by the complimentary tortilla chips and salsa—manna from heaven. I always ordered a combination plate with a tamale, an enchilada, and lots of chili gravy.

Unfortunately, El Chico banned us from the restaurant after my father and grandfather got into a loud and acrimonious dispute over who would pay our lunch bill. To this day, a copy of my father’s driver’s license is taped to the cash register with this warning: 

Precaución. No sirvas a este gringo ni a su familia Fossey. ¡Llámale a la policía!

Since those days, I’ve eaten in over a hundred Tex-Mex joints, and I consider myself an authority on this ethnic cuisine. Here are some tips to help you find a good Tex-Mex restaurant.

First, a Tex-Mex restaurant’s popularity is primarily based on the strength of its margaritas.  If the joint’s margaritas contain adequate tequila (fortified perhaps with Everclear), you will give the eatery a five-star review.

How can you determine if the margaritas are sturdy? Order a house margarita on the rocks. When you’ve finished it, a little voice in your head will tell you to switch to beer.

Ignore that voice, order a second drink,  and chug it down. If the proprietor deprives you of your car keys, you’ll know the margaritas are strong enough.

Here are a few other pointers: 

First, Mexican beer is the only beer to drink when eating Mexican food, and it must be ice cold. I favor the obscure brands: Carta Blanca or Victoria. My friends like Corona, but I find it tastes too much like Bud Light.

Second, your server should serve your food on a hot plate. Nothing tastes worse than tepid Mexican food, and a good Tex-Mex restaurant will present you with a searing platter that will give you a second-degree burn if you unwisely touch it.

Finally, Mexican food is inexpensive, and most Tex-Mex restaurants are consistently good. I ate many meals at El Patio restaurant on Guadalupe Street in Austin while working my way through law school in the 1970s. The dinner plate only cost a buck fifty.

Ever since those days, Tex-Mex has been my favorite comfort food. Hot and flavorful, with an orange glow rising from the melted cheese, a Tex-Mex meal signals to me that all’s right with the world.

The Enchilada plate at an El Paso restaurant. What’s not to like?